As I mentioned in my introduction, Helen’s BMI (Body Mass Index) had fallen to 15 and yet I was still unaware of the peril that she was in.

If you are unfamiliar with the term BMI, then it is a mathematical index used by the medical profession to classify an individual’s body weight. According to “DIET AND EXERCISE” (published by Collins/ Gem):

Below 15 constitutes emaciation,

15 - 19 is underweight,

19 - 25 is average,

25 - 30 is overweight

Above 30 is obese.

However, when dealing with children, we were told that it is important to be aware that an adult BMI is inappropriate owing to the child’s generally smaller frame and so Helen’s target/ideal weight was calculated by her dietician using a chart which had been especially designed for children. We both felt that it was important to let the health care professionals make the necessary calculations. 

My ex-wife, Fiona, had for a number of months been expressing her concern over Helen’s gradual but steady weight loss which, by this time, had fallen from 7 stone 12 pounds at the beginning of September 2002 to a mere 5 stone 6 by the end of March 2003, a total of 34 pounds in almost as many weeks. I had continually dismissed Fiona’s concerns as an over-reaction, arguing that Helen could not possibly be anorexic because anorexics need some traumatic life-event to trigger off the condition. Helen, on the other hand, had grown up in a loving and supportive extended family. Although Fiona and myself had separated and were not in regular contact, we were also not in conflict or confrontation and, as Helen later testified, our separation had no bearing on her condition.

According to the psychiatrist who was in charge of Helen’s case, anorexia can have a genetic basis. Fiona’s sister, Helen’s aunt, had had anorexia when in her teens and had only partially recovered. Helen’s psychiatrist, however, was also very rigorous about ruling out any other possible causes and Helen received a number of sessions with a counsellor to which we were not invited. It transpired that Helen may have become anorexic for no appreciable reason - which is why I had been so complacent about Helen’s weight loss. However, it was important to rule out any more sinister causes of the condition of which we might have been unaware.

Fiona had been right all along and during the period that I had been denying her concerns - mid-December 2002 to mid-March 2003, the anorexia had been consolidating its hold. Helen’s weight fell by 14 pounds over this time from a healthy 6 ½ stone to just 5 ½ half stone. I had been convinced that, although Helen was now rather thin, the fad would stop and that she would plateau out at this new weight and that the problem would just simply fade away. But for Fiona’s intervention, it is Helen who would have faded away.

By the time of Helen’s mental breakdown, we had completely lost all control over our daughter. The anorexia was totally in charge. Helen stood in the middle of the kitchen, a small, frail, emaciated figure, terrified to death of a glass of water. And we were in the position that must face so many parents of newly diagnosed anorexic children - What on earth do we do? How can we rescue our child?

Ideally, we would have prevented Helen from reaching this stage had I given more credence to the signs that Fiona had already spotted. However, as the locum psychiatrist who initially saw Helen made clear, these signs are easily overlooked and, therefore, I should not feel any guilt about my lack of perception. After all, as he informed me, he had missed the signs in his own daughter!

Other signs of anorexia, apart from weight loss, which Helen exhibited included:

Changes in eating habits such as skipping meals;

More meals being supposedly consumed outside of our direct supervision;

An increasingly restricted range of foods being consumed;

Unaccustomed amounts of food left on the plate;

Constant excuses as to why a meal could not be eaten or finished;

A growing obsession with the bathroom scales;

A sudden interest in diet and exercise.

However, and this is very important, there were few apparent signs of mental or emotional distress. At this point, the anorexia was perceived by Helen as a friendly and comforting entity which was simply guiding her towards an ideal weight which would make her feel good about herself. Therefore, her spirits seemed to be buoyant. And the anorexia rewarded her continual weight loss with feelings of well-being.

But once this weight loss began to threaten her physical well-being, Helen suddenly fell into the trap which must surely await all those newly recruited captives to this illness. Weight loss suddenly became traumatic and the anorexia revealed its true nature. It was no longer the friend it had appeared to be but a very severe task master which now began to punish her severely if she dared not to adhere to its programme of continual weight reduction. It was at this point that Helen had her nervous breakdown and truly fell into a despair which could be aptly characterised by the cliché of being caught between a rock and a hard place.

If your child is displaying anorexic symptoms, then you too must be frantically wondering what on earth you can do to stop the madness.

The aim of this website is not to give advice - after all, we are not qualified to do so - but simply to explain to you exactly what we did in order to destroy the anorexia before it could destroy Helen.

At the time of writing this (August 2004), Helen is14 ½ years old, 5’ 2” tall and weighs 7 stone 5 pounds. This is only half a stone lighter than when her problems began. However, now she is about 2 inches taller. She is happy with her weight and appearance. She is confident, cheerful and outgoing with a wide circle of friends and interests. She sees her dietician once every couple of months in order to be weighed and to have her height measured. Her target now is to maintain her healthy BMI - and not to become a skeleton! Therefore, as she grows taller she welcomes (really!) the opportunity to put on the additional few pounds required to adjust her weight to her new height and so maintain a constant BMI.

Our dearest wish is that our account of how we saved our child may in some way help you to save yours, thus rescuing your beloved daughter (or son) from a life-term of certain misery and premature death.

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